It’s hard learning to be fully in the moment and fighting the desire to capture it. (#PictureOrItDidntHappen) It’s also too easy to get so swept up in creating our highlight reels, that we miss being real. Not that having a love for photography and sharing it isn’t genuine, I believe it is and its beautiful, I more mean that we (I) can get so caught up in capturing our day to day, making things just so, reading that one more email, writing that one more response–that we can too easily miss just living in the reality around us.
As much as I love capturing those perfect moments, I’ve succumbed to the fact that I can’t keep up with them all the time. In fact, I don’t want to, because being behind the lens for every moment, will ultimately keep me from loving on the ones in front the lens as much as I can before its too late. That soft baby squish, those giggles, and wet kisses are only here but for a season and if I can’t capture all the moments, I most certainly want to live them.
I am, however, grateful for the mementos that will one day be left for heirlooms yet still strike a sweet reminiscence of my motherhood journey. For T, his Bla Bla owl will instantly take me back to the day he was born. That very first moment I heard his cry. (Queue my own tears). For PZ, I haven’t quite figured out what her’s is or will be. It’s been very different with her, and definitely more apparel driven. Maybe that’s due to a secret longing in me that always wished I had a relative that would hand me down beautiful bespoke wardrobe. I know it seems silly, but I am a fashion stylist, so my love for clothes runs deep!
I find myself saving a hand knit cardigan here, a bonnet there, and I don’t think I will be able to give up her classic boots that she wears on the daily. They are just so perfectly timeless in every way and I’m such a sucker for a well made shoe, truly. All I know is, as we head into this beautiful new year, I want to capture the beauty around me, and live it more intensely, than I ever have before. Because one day I will look back at those adorable little boots, and I may not remember every step, but I trust that she (and him too) will be forging their own paths, collecting their own moments, and living as the joyful and grace filled human beings that they’ve been called to be.