Who Am I?

As I sit and write and dream and plan, I am often overcome with self doubt.  Every time I feel like I’m moving forward in becoming a mentally or spiritually healthier me, self doubt comes creeping right in.  It’s downright annoying at this point.  With it’s hefty cloud of confusion and paralytic impact, it can leave me feeling like I have no power.

The truth is, I’ve always known in some capacity, the things I wanted to do with my life.  We have a good Father, who’s been consistent in revealing them along the way. While there have been many bumps and bruises along the way, the one consistent has been Jesus.  This morning as I was wrestling through what I should be doing, how I should be doing that ‘what’ and doubting myself silly, our gentle Father reminded me:

Isaiah 45:9-11 (NLT)

What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.  Does a clay pot argue with its maker?  Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it saying “Stop, you’re doing it wrong!” Does the pot exclaim, “How clumsy can you be?”

How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father, “Why was I born?” or to its mother “Why did you make me this way?”

Do you question what I do for my children?  Do you give me orders about the works of my hands?

Whew…okay God, I hear you.  Who am I?  Who am I to challenge the work you’ve created in me, let alone others’ (totally guilty).  Who am I to be jealous of the purpose you placed on them because I’m not willing to do the work of seeking you for my own purpose and plan?  Who am I to question the creator of the universe and the work of his hands?

If I wouldn’t have the gall to question DaVinci and his Mona Lisa because I respect the artist and am actually more interested in the inspiration source, then why on Earth am I questioning God and HIS masterpiece?  Palm to forehead moment.

The beauty of all of this is that God wants us to ask him who we are, and he’s delighted to share his plans with us!  He is, after all, the one who put those innermost desires within us.

So today, I’m going to sit in this:  I am not here to doubt the Creator’s work, I’m here to seek the Creator’s purpose for me and live it out in confidence. 

Deuteronomy 31:6//Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you He will not fail you or forsake you.

Proverbs 3:26//For the LORD will be your confidence And will keep your foot from being caught.

Romans 8:28//And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.



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  • Reply Becky

    Wow. Seriously, thanks for writing and posting this. I’m struggling with this myself so it spoke to me so much with where I’m at. Glad I found your blog. Keep seeking. I will too.

    October 1, 2016 at 12:25 pm
    • Reply ashlee

      Thank you for the feedback! He is faithful to reveal all He has done, I hope you found some truth and encouragement for your journey. <3 - Ashlee

      October 10, 2016 at 5:12 pm

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