I keep telling myself I will wake up earlier than the kids. I will get up, have my quiet time, work out, and be ready to go for the day by the time they awake. Well this may happen, once in a blue moon, but it is not the norm in our lives. With Mother’s Day over the weekend, I had some time to sit and reflect. Do you know what I thought about? How can I be a better mama than the one I’m currently being? Life is a balance, always has been, always will be, but it flows in and out surrounding your priorities. Where are my priorities? As we currently work our way to be completely debt free, I’ve realized I hear T talking about money more and more lately. In fact, as I write this, he’s in his room counting out his piggy bank. To me, in this moment, I feel as if I failed.
He doesn’t SEE* that we tithe, try to save, and do our best to meet all of our obligations. (*We talk about these things, but that’s just not the same as physically seeing it). Which led me to consider even more, what other areas of my life do I want to sew into my children, that they don’t really get to SEE? It hit me like a ton of bricks. My quiet time. They see us singing praise, going to church, giving of our time–but our kids do not see our daily quiet time for the most part. Don’t get me wrong, they each have a quiet time devotional in their own age appropriate ways with us, but they don’t see us in the Word, consuming the Word, praying through the Word..or at least not as much as they should.
Being a firm believer in the learn by ‘seeing and doing model’, I realize my quiet time, may not need to be so quiet anymore. About two weeks ago @Woodsermom shared a post that planted this seed. She was talking about how she kept getting up earlier and earlier to have her quiet time, but the kids followed suit. She realized that maybe the Lord was prompting them to have their quiet times together, to see her ‘rejoicing in the Word.’ I completely forgot about this post until this morning. (BTdubs, she’s a great Jesus loving, homeschooling mama account to follow).
I want my kids to SEE my heart, and if some of that is happening in the twilight hours behind closed doors, they won’t see it. This is me, talking to myself, because I believe your quiet time, your time of meditation, however you seek Truth, looks differently for everyone. But for me, it’s always been a private and personal thing. I feel challenged to let it not be, and I’m not quite sure what that looks like at the moment, but I’m excited for the opened door in front me…literally and hypothetically.