Dear Me: Honest Memoirs on Motherhood, Nesha

Nesha is one of the most beautiful souls I’ve met.  Her passion for honesty and motherhood, and her stunning eye for photography captivated me early on in our insta-friendship.  Her story is lovely, and she has some love for you mamas out there…

Dear Self,

My pen has barely hit my paper and I’m already in tears. Knowing that writing this letter will put you in one of your most vulnerable states. Stricken with so much guilt and second guessing your abilities as a mother constantly, I hurt for you. I know you better than anyone, but yet still, you many times don’t even believe me, you, when I say “you’re doing a great job.” Motherhood was not meant for the faint of hearts. Being a mother is hard. Being a mother is exhausting. Being a mother is many times unfair. BUT, being a mother is wonderful! Being a mother is rewarding! Being a mother is something that not anything could ever compare to!
You often choose to say no because you always fear the worst. You shelter your children. And though you do it out of love, you are ultimately depriving them. As they get older, you must learn to be confident in the way you’ve raised them. Having faith that they will make the right decisions. You also have to realize that they may not always make good decisions, and that their bad decisions are in no way a reflection of how good of a mother you were, you are.
Worry less and play more. Do not let the fear of something bad happening to your children prevent you from embracing life’s adventures with your children. Stop trying to control every moment and let the moments control themselves. Pray, have faith, and take chances, knowing that your children are protected by someone so much greater than yourself.
There will come a time when you will read this letter, and I’m sure you will break down. There will be tears, and there very well may be some regret. But, with the tears and with the regret, there will be joy. Joy in being able to see how far you’ve come in our journey. Joy in being able to see that yes, you were in fact a wonderful mother who at times made mistakes, but who always loved. It is my hope, my prayer, that you continue to embrace this journey that we are on. I pray that you remember all of the good memories that you’ve provided your children. Always know that no one could be a better mother to those tiny beings than you. And most importantly, remember that we are in this together. Never give up on yourself. Never give up on us.
A Part of You
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